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Bohnenbaum Family: A Mole Story

Group of people conversing in a courtyard garden; Salix babylonica weeping willow among broad-leaved plants beside a contemporary building.

The Bohnenbaums Save the World.

Modern two-story house with rooftop garden; person in blue overalls rappels down brown exterior wall; watchers on lawn; person in red wetsuit in pool.
Two men pose in a modern courtyard garden; foreground features Agave spp. and a pink-flowering tree.
Two men stand on a lawn beside Acer palmatum trees in front of a modern building with a metal staircase and balcony.
Two people in stylish outfits leaning on a black railing in a garden with tall Pennisetum setaceum grasses and green trees.
Group of people socializing by a rectangular pool in a lush garden with a shaded pavilion; foreground shows Miscanthus sinensis ornamental grasses.

FACTSHEET

Architecture: Zoran Bodrozic (AZB), Andreas Pacher Architects, Andreas Heizeneder (Archiguards)
Garden & Terrace area: 4,000 m²
Equipment: IPE terraces and raised beds, natural pool, stepping stones in the sedum area, UniqueTrees®, Domani ceramic planters
Planting: UniqueTrees®-Solitary shrubs (Amber tree, Port. Laurel, Japanese maples, Fragrant bloom, Rock pear, Crepe myrtle), Hostas, Japanese forest grass, Red hot poker grass, Gaura, Hydrangeas
Furniture: Sofa "Cove", Table "Alto Piano" and Chairs "Telar" by Paola Lenti, Sofa "Noah" and Side table "Strap" by Paola Lenti
Plant pots: Texel Domani, Corten steel rings

Outdoor glass-topped table with pink Dianthus caryophyllus carnations, a beige plate holding a round container of blue stones, and a green glass vase with foliage.
Contemporary glass residence with two balconies; four people on the upper terrace; lush potted Hydrangea macrophylla and Ficus benjamina frame the scene.

Johnny Bohnenbaum is back. After the dapper young man had been forced to disappear from the family’s life a few years ago without further explanation, he had now returned for good reason. He had grown stronger in a mysterious way, and just as mysterious was his companion—let’s call her Sue-Ann. They had come to teach the Bohnenbaums something new. Like all of us, frightened by AI, they were looking for an occupation that even the most innovation-obsessed executives would not be able to rationalize away so easily. And, as was only to be expected, they came up with a perverse idea: espionage. And counter-espionage, of course.

Now, Johnny and Sue-Ann had some experience with this. After (allegedly) countless missions in (allegedly) countless hotspots, they had withdrawn from the world of secret services and entered the no less dubious world of consulting. Plenty of people do that these days—passing on knowledge they don’t actually possess. Not so here.

For spies who have not received proper training, the likelihood of being harmed in the field is allegedly 89.5% higher than for trained professionals. That alone is reason enough for the Bohnenbaums to approach the matter like professionals—and with professionals. In doing so, the Bohnenbaums once again place themselves in clear opposition to the spirit of the times. In a world ruled by the most hair-raising dilettantes, they want to be professionals. Professionals who are aware of what their abilities are sufficient for—and what they can sensibly be used for. A rare gift these days.

 

The boss of America, for example, is so stupid that he believes people here in Austria live in forests. But everyone knows that is utter, boneheaded nonsense. People here are far more likely to live in gardens—gardens which, if they were very lucky, were designed by Kramer and Kramer. The Bohnenbaums, as is well known, have had that kind of luck again and again.

They also chose such a place for their latest training: an impressive setting with a magnificent garden and several other magnificent things besides. Alongside the beautiful plants and around the wonderful furniture, a mole was at work. Not a real one—more in the metaphorical sense—but largely invisible all the same. Finding it was what John and Sue-Ann were there to help with: to teach the Bohnenbaums the most important tricks and techniques of intelligence work, in order to finally track down the mole and catch it.

Besides a fake moustache (Wolf-Walter insisted on it), it is also helpful to be a completely normal human being. In fact, almost even more helpful. And people with a good nose and an eye for detail—that’s the Bohnenbaums. Whether they will ever truly arrive in the world of so-called adults is questionable. But so is whether they even want to. And who could blame them?

Group of people on a modern building balcony overlooking a landscaped garden; prominent Salix babylonica weeping willow.
Woman in olive-green jumpsuit stands in a sunny garden beside Hydrangea macrophylla and Yucca sp.
Aerial view of a backyard gathering around a glass table under a pale umbrella; garden features Colocasia esculenta by the lawn.
Group of people strolling a modern urban courtyard garden with Yucca spp. and Nassella tenuissima grasses by a glass-faced building.
Two men workout: one on indoor treadmill, other outside with dumbbells; garden with Agave spp. and Yucca spp. in sunlit courtyard.
Group of people at a modern garden patio under pink and pale-yellow parasols; a man stands with cards while others sit; lush greenery and a tree nearby.
Two models stroll a garden path beside Hydrangea macrophylla in rusted planters; Yucca sp. and trees frame the sunny courtyard with onlookers.
Group of stylish adults lounging on a modern outdoor patio under woven lamps; red Celosia cristata blooms on a glass table.
Group of seven adults standing on a lawn in front of a brown modern glass-clad building with balconies and potted trees.